Finding Joker
by HurtsLikeHell
Summary: What if the Joker didn't get capture by the FBI? What if he had a wife? What if she never knew who he really was? What if he didn't know who SHE really was? What if, in all this, there was a grudge holding Officer who wanted him dead? R
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. Hey, I'm just experimenting in this genre. If you don't know already, I'm a huge Batman fan. Actually, I'm a huge **_**Joker**_** fan. I was reading one of my favorite fanfictions, one that I've read over and over with what she has so far, called The Doctors and the Nurses Adore me so (or TDATNAMS) and it inspired me to write a Batman fic. Okay, you also might want to know that this is post-DK but he didn't get captured and the Joker actually escaped the clutches of the FBI. So here we go…..(btw, I've only stolen the idea of putting quotes or lyrics at the top of chapters from her but nothing else, I swear)**

"_**We are strong but we don't belong;**_

_**Born in this world as it all falls apart."**_

**-Young, Hollywood Undead**

** "**Sir, I've found him! I've found him!" Young Bradley Hampton screamed and jammed the red alarm button down with his thumb, causing the entire police station to ring loudly with the blaring noise. The twenty-three year old had started working for Gotham Police Station only two months back when the Joker, Gotham's new dangerous criminal, had blown up the hospital his little sister was residing at. She had been in vital condition after her relapse in lung cancer and the moving of her body into the truck and then from the truck to another bed had messed with her system and ultimately killed her. Tammy had only been four years old. Bradley (or Brad, as he was known around the station) shrieked louder and unnecessarily pounded the button harder has he remembered Tammy's funeral where he had to watch her frail body be put into the ground. Jim Gordon rushed to his side.

"What is it now, Lieutenant?" Gordon asked exasperatedly, shutting off the alarms and running his fingers through his short and graying hair.

"I've _found _him!" He squealed and jabbed his long index finger towards the computer screen.

"Yes, yes, I got the memo. Do ya mind telling me exactly _who_ you found?" The middle aged man snapped, bringing Bradley out of his excited daze and back into work mode.

"The Joker", he whispered as if the name itself would bring Gotham's latest criminal to the room.

"We know where the Joker is, Hampton. We need a way of catching him without getting our, or anyone else's, heads blown off." Jim stated slowly as if he was talking to a child. "Now I know the whole Tammy thing has gotten you razzed but ya need to get your hea-."

"No!-I mean, yes but-", Brad let out a frustrated growl and yanked the monitor in Gordon's direction. "Just look."

Jim sighed but glanced at the picture anyway. It was a family portrait with a young woman, in her early twenties, with a very, very round and very, very pregnant belly standing in front of a slightly older man, probably late twenties. At first glance, this portrait would seem normal but anyone who even took a second longer looking at it would notice the odd qualities about the man. There were two badly hidden and grotesque scars running most of the way up both of his cheeks, pulling his lips slightly up into a forever smile. His mostly dirty blonde hair had a green tinge to it and he was wearing a touch of red lipstick, nothing too evident but very much _there_. Both the woman and her husband were dressed from head to toe in plum purple. Gordon grabbed the mouse and scrolled up to check the date of the photograph and the name of the couple. The portrait had only been taken a week before then.

"Well, Bradley, get your gun. We're paying Mr. Evan Parker a little visit."

Alexandra Parker had been wiping down the kitchen table after dinner when someone knocked loudly on the door. She took a confused look at the clock, which read 12:35am, and wondered if it was possibly broken. Never the less, she couldn't keep whoever it was waiting so Alexandra waddled over to the door of her and her husband's small apartment and opened it. She took in a small gasp as she saw the faces of two police officers looking into her green eyes solemnly. From the tenseness of his arm Alexandra could tell that the young brunette was holding a gun behind his back. If only she hadn't had been pregnant then she could have taken out both men in a split second and killed them if needed. _Damn these children! _She mentally scolded her bulging stomach full of twins.

"Um, I'm sorry….did you need something?" Alex greeted in her most innocent and sugary sweet voice. The older one of the officers stepped forward slightly and held out his hand, which she shook hesitantly.

"Is this the home of Evan Parker?" The older man asked her with the same serious look on his face. Alex dropped his hand and let hers dangle lazily to the side while fighting back a smile. This man was so serious and it was _hilarious!_ At the moment, Alexandra wouldn't mind if they wanted her husband because he was some escaped convict who used to rape small children. Okay, maybe that wasn't entirely true but she was never the kind to care much about what her husband did. Evan was unemployed, scarred, and leaving every night; probably to ravage some blond prostitute. There were only two rules in their small apartment that she always enforced: no hitting the Wife and the Wife is always right even if she's terribly wrong. If he wanted to cheat on her with a one-night stand girl then so be it as long as she could pretend that he really was off with his buddies going bowling like he always told her he was doing then she was fine and dandy.

"Last time I checked it was. Or did he run off with your wife?" Alexandra asked with faux concern and slapped her hand dramatically to her forehead. "Oh, Evan, not again!" She laughed but stopped as soon as she saw the gray-haired officer's disgusted look. _Geez, can't people take a joke around here?_ "Yes, he lives here."

"Mrs. Parker...you may want to take a seat." Alex almost laughed at this statement. Officer Serious was expecting his news to blow her head off. Poor Officer.

"No thanks"

"I really think you'll want to, Mrs. Parker."

"And I really think that I won't want to. Honey", Alexandra started with a compassionate look. He was so adorably ignorant. "My Mom came home every night with a new Daddy and a new plastic ring to signify the marriage. I've had everyone for a Daddy from billionaires to Chuck the Chicken from the Bucket 'O' Wings. I think police coming to my house and telling me some untold secret about my husband is like the neighbor across the hall coming to tell me the latest gossip. I. Will. Be. _Fine._"

The older officer, the only one who seemed to be capable of doing anything, closed his eyes for a moment before nodding his head in a "your way, then" and regaining his calm, cool, and important composure. Yet another reason why this man was comedy gold to Alex. As she fought back a giggle the cop started talking,

"Alexandra Genvieve Parker, I regret to inform you that your husband is, in fact, a prime suspect to be a man that has been murdering by the masses and being a major arsonist." Green eyes locked with the officer's gray ones and she gave him the coldest look possible. How _dare _he use her full name. She _hated_ her full name.

"Oh no", She said, the way she said it made her voice sound as if she was choking back tears instead of the urge to kill. "Which one, then? Lemme guess, he's the Crocodile Man!" This time Alex couldn't stop herself from laughing out loud nor did she want to.

"This is a serious matter!" The second one piped up. _So he _can _speak!_ Alexandra mused with a faint smirk. She had been beginning to think that this man was some sort of robot that they had made up just for the purpose of making the real officers look good to have their own deputy.

"Look, we think your husband may be", the officer leaned in right next to her ear and whispered. "The Joker."

Never before was Alexandra more elated or frightened in her life. The Joker _had _fascinated her but he scared her more then anything. Who in their right mind wouldn't be scared of the demented clown that blew up hospitals and ships? Not that she _was_ in her right mind. Having escaped an asylum in California when she was seventeen and changing her last name probably meant that she was still mentally crazy. _That _and the fact that there were still monsters following her where ever she went. Of course, even Evan knew nothing about this so he always thought she was just being silly. Alex was entitled to some secrets of her own, right?

"Please get your husband for me. We need to take him in for questioning." Officer Serious told her. Immediately Alex hardened her heart towards this man. Please or not he had just told her to do something. _No one_ ever told her to do anything without being seriously injured. She put on her fakest smile and nodded,

"I'll be right back." She slammed the door closed and ran towards her bedroom. Alexandra would beat that man for never telling her who he was. Of course, the scars should have given her a clue into it but _still. _She threw open the door and startled the tall man who was currently watching television. Alex was planning on warning him to hide and/or beating him to a pulp. What happened was none of the above. As soon as the door slammed open the actuality of her situation settled in her brain and her knees gave out from underneath her body. Alexandra opened her mouth in a perfect "O" and forced her voice, attempting to scream, but nothing came. The world in front of her eyes blurred and spun. Grotesque monsters with peeling, oozing skin and blood covered faces stepped out from where they were hiding to come get her. They took her breath and her heart beat loudly in her ears. Alex thrashed wildly to keep them away. Her head something hard. There was something wet pooling around her.

The monsters left.

Sharp pain.

Black.

"When do you think she'll be out?" Bradley asked, holding back the whining tone that was threatening to leak into his voice. Gordon looked at him exasperatedly and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling.

"Bradley, if I had just told you that your wife was about to be arrested and asked you to bring her to me would _you_ come quietly."

"I don't have a wife, sir." Another sigh erupted from Jim as he shook his head, still studying the ceiling.

"It was a hypothetical question. She's the wife of the Joker and she's carrying his children-"

"Children?" Brad asked; brows furrowed in confusion.

"Twins; now shut up. She's the wife of the Joker and carrying his _children_. Do you really think that she's going to come out and hand him over?" Gordon asked his oblivious Lieutenant.

"So she's not coming out?" A groan came from Gordon and he made eye contact with Brad, motioning for him to watch closely. He lifted his foot, reared back, and came crashing into the door. It fell and Gordon raised his eyebrows, as if silently telling him "see?".

Brad's cheeks flushed pink and they both raced towards the room down the hallways where they assumed Mrs. Parker went into. The door was ajar and Gordon peeked through the tiny gap that had perfect view of the small bedroom. The window was wide open and the green curtains were whooshing about in the wind. The pair quickly opened the door but Bradley knew there was something wrong the second he stepped into the room. This assumption was most likely brought on by the fact that the second Brad Hampton stepped into the room the carpet squelched and his shoe got unusually wet. The young man looked down at his soiled foot and gasped in horror before instinctively jumping away.

"What the Hell are you jumping around for, Hampton?" Jim snapped at the Lieutenant who seemed to be prone to making unnecessary noise by the whimpering he was making now. Wait, why was his officer whimpering? Gordon followed Brad's gaze to the floor. Actually, to the giant puddle of the floor; the puddle of blood. There was enough blood around the entire room that someone could easily have said that a sheep was slaughtered in here. Most of the dark fluid was located at the entrance of the door but it dribbled towards the window. Gordon slowly stepped next to the blood and followed it. Once he reached the window Jim inspected the sill carefully. Sure enough, there was blood smeared on the window frame too. Something about the blood made Gordon want to throw up. If this was an accident he'd be damned. Not that he wasn't anyway. Hampton was already passed out in the hallway and Jim just gripped the side of the window. All these killings needed to stop. It was up to him and Bradley to fix Gotham with Batman gone. Tears slid down his stubbly cheeks when he remembered his son. Suddenly a thought came to him with such an impact that he jolted away from the window. Everyone had something that made them brake; for Brad it was Tamera, for Jim it was his wife and son, and the Joker would logically have one too. As much as it pained him to realize it, the Joker was just a man. A demented man but a man none the less. There must be something...

Evan Parker sped down the highway towards his "home away from home", otherwise known as the unofficial alleyway hospital. Okay, so it was more like a small apartment with one or two people that had bachelor degrees and sewed up a few different people but it was the best he had right now. Living a life of crime had given Evan a very keen sense of hearing so when the officer's came up to the door he had already packed half the things that he and his wife really needed and was planning on heading out the door. That was before she passed out of the floor and before she flailed her arms and legs like a madwoman and started bleeding from God knows where. The beat-up pick-up truck that Evan had stolen pulled up in from of a crumbling apartment complex and Evan quickly preformed a change from Evan Parker to the Joker. The change wasn't hard considering he had done it many other times before but Joker was never as stressed out as he was now that his wife was practically dead. He kicked open the door and went to get Alex out of the backseat. Grabbing her ankles Joker tugged her half-way out of the car before throwing her over his shoulder and running up the flights of steps.

Joker didn't even bother with knocking on the door or even opening it, in fact. Instead he did what every worried mass-murdering, arsonist, mentally ill man would do: he kicked the door down. The main "doctor", Jacklyn, barely flinched and lifted her head up slowly to take in the appearance of her most frequent costumer. What she didn't expect was him to be holding his unconscious, bleeding, pregnant wife in his arms. The red-head rose from the couch professionally but in a hasty manner.

"What the Hell, Joker? Get in a fight about the checking account this time or was it about another woman...again?" Jacklyn may have sounded like she was teasing but her tone and facial expression was dead serious. She had only seen Joker's wife once before and it was completely by accident. Two years back the Joker had convinced her that he was single and took her to his house for a "com_plet_ely and to_t_ally amazing one night _st_and", in his words. While they were in the middle of, ahem, getting it on Alexandra got home early from her friend's house and caught them in bed. Since then Jacklyn had only cleaned and sewed up Joker professionally and sent him out the door. The purple hair was gone but Jacklyn could tell that the gorgeous brunette in Joker's arms was the same wife that caught him cheating with Jacklyn. This was gonna be fun.

**A.N. So a bit OOC and a bit short but I PROMISE the next ones will be better. Comments appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N. Do you know how much I love the Joker? Tons. He's amazing. My friend told me that I was weird the other day because I mentioned how fascinated I am with the mentally ill. It intrigues me as to what exactly gives that final push over the edge of insanity. Okay, maybe I am weird but now you'll be thinking about it all day right? Or maybe not. Well, on with the story.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything that has to do with the Batman OR the Joker no matter how much I want to with all my heart! **

**-**

"Can you help her?" Joker asked in almost a pleading voice. This was as close to heartbreak as he'd ever been in his life. Usually Jacklyn would have a red hand mark across her cheek at the very least by now and the fact that she didn't worried her more then the bleeding woman.

"Lay her on the couch and you go sit in the other room, Kayley's awake; why don't you go play with her while I'm out here?" Jacklyn told him and pushed him lightly in the direction of Kayley's nursery. Joker took one last glace back at his overly pale wife before walking with heavy feet towards Kayley's room. Kayley was Jacklyn's three and a half year old daughter and the moment Joker met her Kayley fell in love with him. It wasn't that Joker was ever opposed to having children, although he was quite worried about his twins at the moment, it was just that children could be such a burden for someone who spent their whole life murdering people in creative ways. When you're a villain you want as little as possible that people can hold against you. For the longest time the only thing that Joker would give half his world for was Alex...then she announced her pregnancy. The word abortion was the first thing to come to his mind and, regretfully, out of his mouth. Of course, it was only regretfully because Alex smacked him across the face with the frying pan that just happened to be in her hand at the time. Damn, women were dangerous when angry.

Running his fingers through his greasy green tinted hair Joker reached down and opened the bedroom door. Inside was, what could only be described as, pink overload. The carpet was a light pink that matched the curtains which hung in two long wispy strips across the single closed window. The window itself was painted with a smiling sun, bluer then blue sky, and a cute pink bunny; the perfect illusion of happiness. There was a small bed in the corner covered in a large hot pink blanket. Sitting on the bed with a well-worn barbie doll was a little red-haired girl concentrating quite hard on braiding the long blond doll hair.

"Hey, squir_t_." Joker said and sat on the small bed which sunk slightly from his weight. Kayley looked up and squealed, throwing the doll aside and wrapping her little arms around his neck. The Joker didn't make any move to hug the child but she didn't care.

"Clown!" The two just sat there as Kayley went to tell Joker about her day and all the "adventures" she had gone on with her dolls.

"...and Princess Pauly rode on Jack ALL the way to the kingdom where Prince Dave lived and they got married! The End!" A small giggle erupted from the little girl and Joker cringed. Children were so creepy. Not that he was any less creepy but the sound of a child's giggle just freaked him out. He_ definitely _wasn't ready to be a father.

"Joker!" A voice called out from the living room and Joker immediately left. No goodbyes. Joker didn't say goodbye to Kayley. Just because the red head loved him didn't mean he loved her back. As Joker entered the living room he knew something was dreadfully wrong. The entire air of the place had changed from professional to a type of mourning.

"Where's Alex?" Joker asked casually as if she could have just upped and went to the bathroom. The couch she was laying on was empty but her blood stained the tan coverlet.

"Joker..." Jacklyn started and sat down in her desk chair. Death was never an easy message to give.

"Where the f_u_ck is my wife, Ja_ck_lyn?" snarled Joker dangerously and he inched towards her. The ginger straightened her back and gave him her meanest glare. He wouldn't dare hurt her.

"Your _wife_ is in my room sleeping. She's in a lot of pain; a miscarriage isn't easy on any woman's body." Jacklyn's look changed from a glare to something close to sympathetic. Somewhere deep in her heart she knew that Joker wouldn't care and she wanted to weep for the beautiful woman who would have to be told that all her eight months of carrying these children were done in vain; and her husband wouldn't _care. _

_Dead? My children are dead? _The Joker puzzled over this for only a moment or two. Relief washed over him at this discovery. No children for him and he'd get Alex to have her tubes tied just as soon as all this police business was over.

"When will she wake up?" Joker asked and Jacklyn's face got red with anger. Her eyes were almost like lasers burning into him. Then, she snapped.

"I don't think you _heard_ me; your wife just lost the babies. They. Are. Dead!"

"Yeah,_ t_h_a_nks for _t_he re-cap of the la_st t_wo minutes. I'm sure the neighbors were dying _t_o know." Joker rolled his eyes and let out a barking laugh. He was so funny sometimes. Unfortunately Jacklyn didn't think so and she shot up from her chair ending up in front of his face.

"You-You-You _bastard!_ You heartless _dipshit!"_ Jacklyn shrieked and clenched her fists. "All you care about is you! The woman in there deserves a lot more then you! When she wakes up she will be heart broken and she'll only be greeted with a selfish bitch of a husband who doesn't give a fuck!"

"I'm warning you, Jacklyn: _stay out of my life!_" Joker retorted dangerously and raised his voice ever so slightly. Jacklyn's mouth gaped open in a mixture of anger and hate. Her clenched fist shot upwards towards his jaw but Joker just barely caught it. "Jac_k_lyn, _t_h_i_nk about wh_a_t you h_a_ve to lose. There's a certain three year old br_at _that au_t_om_at_ic_a_lly comes _t_o mind."

"You wouldn't", Jacklyn whispered darkly; her arm still captured in Joker's strong hand. Joker laughed murderously,

"Oh, Jackie, you of all people should know what I would and wouldn't do." A cough came from behind them and they both shot around to face the owner.

"Don't you dare threaten her." Alex's voice was weak but full of authority. She was standing the hallway entrance wearing a long and over-sized robe of Jacklyn's which fit her belly perfectly. There was no knowing how long she had been standing there but, judging by the tears streaking her cheeks, she had heard enough.

"Oh, honey!" Jacklyn ran over to the recently childless woman and hugged her tightly. Alex wrapped her arms around the doctor but stared at Joker the entire time with unfocused eyes. Joker shivered inside but kept his chaotically calm composure. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough", was Alex's only answer.

"I'm so sorry that-that idiot over there isn't-I mean-he doesn't...your husband-" Jacklyn was cut off by a very stern voice coming from Alex,

"I'm not married to that man."

"I-I'm sorry?" stuttered Jacklyn. She had been stuttering a lot lately.

"He's not my husband. I did not get married to him."

"Babe..." Joker started and walked towards Alex who pushed him away with a hard glare. "I have pic_t_ures. We _are_ married."

"No, I'm married to Evan Parker. I never married the Joker." Alex was in denial. She knew that she was in denial but she didn't care. She had just lost her precious twins, her husband was the Joker, and her husband didn't even mourn the loss of his children.

"It's kind of a package deal." laughed Joker but Alex just stared at him with a blank glance. _Package,_ she mouthed the word as if it were foreign. Something in her mind didn't click with the word and his sentence wasn't computing.

"Just, come with me. And you", Jacklyn pointed to Joker. "Stay away."

For once, Joker listened.

-

Alex fingered the fabric of her robe and listened loosely to the words of comfort Jacklyn was giving her. Nothing would comfort her. Both of her children had died and it was all her fault. No, it was all the monster's fault. Why did they kill her children? Weren't they only after _her_? Alex let out an audible gasp. What if they were after _him?_

**-**

**Yes, this is fucking short. I'm sorry and I'm writing the next chapter as we speak BUT I REALLY need a Beta! Please review!**


	3. UPDATE FOR FINDING JOKER discontinuing

**UPDATE FOR FINDING JOKER**

I am sad to announce that I will be permanently discontinuing Finding Joker. The whole idea behind my story came out of a scene that I had in my mind of the Joker and his "wife" who was mentally insane and holding him at gun point while screaming and ranting about monsters and how they were his fault. She mentioned twins that she had miscarried. So, my point is, the whole story was formed out of a scene that really had nothing to do with what I've been writing (at least, not yet) and randomly spitting things onto paper makes it look messy. I will, however, be posting the scene I had in my head. I think that will be a pretty amazing oneshot if I can clean it up a bit. Please forgive me if you liked it! Oh and I _will_ be writing more Forbidden Attractions. My days have been unbelievably busy for months.


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